Frustration!

So, my mother-in-law is a wonderful person and I love her to bits.  But like everyone, she has a few quirks that can be a little frustrating at times.  She can be a touch self-involved, which often results in her not listening or immediately forgetting something you've told her.  This has been the case with my chronic pain.  We've talked numerous times about what is going on and she never seems to really pay attention and then asks questions later that I of course graciously answer but in the back of my mind I'm saying: "If you'd just pay attention in the first place you'd already know that!".  So she never really seems to 'get' what's going on or how I'm feeling.

I talked it over with the hubster, and in the course of that conversation I came to the conclusion that maybe I'm just not as open about my illnesses as I need to be.  Maybe it's not that she's not paying attention but maybe I'm not really being clear enough.  So yesterday, she called to see how I was doing (the hubster is out of town this weekend) and I told her that I was really quite sore and per usual she asked what I had done to hurt myself.  Now, of course part of the reason I'm hurting is because I overdid it the other night with my workout, but that wasn't the whole picture and I explained that.  I could practically hear her eyes glazing over on the other end of the phone as I described what was going on.  So we ended the call and I went on with my day.

Then today she and my father-in-law came over for a visit and I thought I'd take another stab at it.  Again, the glazing over of the eyes only this time I could see it.  She kept interjecting and interrupting and changing the subject until I eventually gave up.

So we're back where we started.  I was hoping that if I shared a little more about my condition maybe she would 'get' it and that would be helpful to both of us but apparently she wasn't interested in hearing it.  I do have people in my life that get it - primarily my mom and my aunt who both have fibromyalgia as well as other issues - and I guess for now that will have to be good enough.  I suppose it would be a bit foolish to expect everyone to be as supportive as I need them to be - and maybe a bit selfish.

I bought brand new bright red linens for our master bathroom today, and that felt really good.  Most of our towels and facecloths are either hand-me-downs or stuff we've had since before we were married so it's nice to have something fresh and new and colourful in that space.

Pushing too hard

The hubster bought me Jillian Michaels Fitness Ultimatum 2010 the other day.  I decided to give it a shot last night, but foolishly chose one of the 'pre-made' exercise routines (part of the 'resolutions' part of the game) rather than putting together one of my own or doing a few carefully selected individual exercises and I am seriously paying for it today.  I knew it was too much for me about 10 minutes in but kept pushing becausing I have this stupid need to succeed at everything and can't admit it when I've bitten off more than I can chew.  I started modifying some of the exercises part way through to make them a little gentler but it was still too much.  I could barely walk down the stairs this morning and after a naproxen and two extra-strength acetaminophen I'm only just at the 'bearable' stage.

The really lousy part of all of this is it's going to throw  me off my yoga routine for at least a couple of days.  Also, I was supposed to start some upper-back strength training at physio on Wednesday but we're probably going to have to spend the appointment doing damage control because last night's 'overdoing it' will likely set of a flare of epic proportions.

Are you guilty of pushing yourself to far because you can't admit defeat?

Fibromyalgia Bloggers?

I've been looking for blogs written by other people with Fibro, and aside from the wonderful FibroHaven I haven't been very successful in my search! I've come across a couple of nice blogs but most of what I'm coming across are repeats and repeats and repeats of the same articles on 'health' blogs that clearly aren't written by anyone with chronic disease, if they're even written by real people at all!

So if you've come here and you're a real person and you have a link to share with me please do! It'll also help me feel less like I'm talking to myself on here! ;)

Oops, I did it again...

Today is a sore day.  I pushed my yoga routine too far last night and felt something in my shoulder pop as I came out of a really deep pose.  That pop (which created enough pain just from whatever specific damage I caused that led to the pop) has started a chain reaction in my body as the nerves involved overreacted, and then the nerves around those overreacted, and so on.  I really just want to curl up in a ball and cry.

I'm having trouble finding a good balance with my routine.  I have a set of poses that I try to do every day and most days they don't cause me any trouble.  But I'm bored of the routine and feeling a need to challenge the pain with some more difficult poses.  So far every time I branch out I end up hurting myself because it is so damn hard to tell the difference between the fibro pain and new pain and I end up pushing too hard unintentionally.  The idea of 'if it hurts back out' doesn't apply because if I did that I wouldn't move at all! :P

IMS for Fibromyalgia

So far, hands down, IMS (Intramuscular Stimulation) has been the best find for me in terms of what helps manage my fibromyalgia symptoms.  I actually started having IMS to treat some specific injuries unrelated to the FM but as that treatment progressed I realized the effect that it was having on the FM pain and started asking my physiotherapist to treat my whole back and not just the specific areas and holy moly was that life changing.  I will go from having difficulty getting up and down the stairs and being unable to stand, sit, or lie in any position one day to running up and down the stairs and being able to clean my whole house in a few hours the next day.  It really is amazing.  However, the effects don't last very long.  I think if I could go every week it would probably be just about right to keep me functioning well most of the time.  Unfortunately, that's both cost and time prohibitive at this point.  I'm going every four to six weeks when I get so bad that working, taking care of my family, and studying have become next to impossible and I'm forced to take some 'me' time to get back on track.

Happy to answer any questions about my experiences with this treatment.

Cheers.

Okay so wow I am totally sucking at writing here! But don't you love the new layout! Totally digging the new template editor in Blogger.  I have a couple of posts in draft that aren't ready to go up yet.  I don't know when they'll be finished.  One is a letter to my husband about my disease - I hope that once I finish it I will actually let him read it.  Sometimes he's very supportive and sometimes I think he gets worn out from having a chronically ill spouse.  If I let him read it I'll have to make sure it's on one of his good days.

Cheers.

Brain Vibration

I have a new 'symptom' to add to the long long list of strange things migraine does to my body...  The last three or so episodes I've had, once the pain dissipates I am left with a vibrating sensation in my head.  It feels like my brain is vibrating around in my skull.  Strange right? I don't notice it much when I'm moving around, but when I'm sitting still or lying down it is very noticable.  Also if I try to focus on a specific object I can 'see' the vibration.  I consulted with Dr. Google and all I find is a lot of people with the same symptom and no answers.  I'm going to track this and if it persists I'll be going back to the neuro (three hours away - yay!) for another consult.

Accompanying the vibration is facial numbness (used to go away by the time the pain subsided) and nausea.  It's just a non-stop roller coaster of fun in my head! ;)